(More information can be found here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1SB0jsx34bWHZWbnNIVVuMjhDkrdFGo1_hSC2BWPlI3A/)
How does the DM introduce the X-Card in a game?
“I’d like your help.”
“Your help to make this game fun for everyone.”
“If anything in the game makes anyone uncomfortable…”
[ draw an X on an index card ]
“…just lift this card up, or simply tap it.”
“You don’t have to explain why.”
“It doesn’t matter why.”
”When we lift or tap this card, we simply edit out anything X-Carded.”
”And if there is ever an issue, anyone can call for a break and we can talk privately.”
“I know it sounds funny but it will help us play amazing games together…”
“…and usually I’m the one who uses the X card to help take care of myself.”
Why do you use that introduction?
Lets break it down line by line…
1. “I’d like your help.”
A lot of times we don’t get what we want in life because we don’t ask for it.
This also makes it clear that it’s not all on me.
2. “Your help to make this game fun for everyone.”
State the goal, set expectations. Make it clear it’s not about individuals but the group.
3. “If anything in the game makes anyone uncomfortable…”
I switch from saying “you” to “anyone” and “we” below to reinforce it’s about the group’s needs. I say “anything” so it’s not limited or specific because I don’t want to prejudge what people find uncomfortable because it’s subjective and I’m not here to judge.
4. “…just simply lift this card up or simply tap it.”
It’s so easy! I will then actually lift the card to make it clear physically how easy it is.
5. “You don’t have to explain why.”
Explaining is bad because it’s extra effort, a higher barrier to accomplish your goal, and it can feel like being put on trial. Plus explanations means more time not playing.
6. “It doesn’t matter why.”
No judgement. No questioning.
7. ”When we lift or tap this card, we simply edit out anything X-Carded…”
Repeat what they need to do “lift the card” and emphasize how it is simple and fast.
8. ”And if there is ever an issue, anyone can call for a break and we can talk privately.”
If the X-Card isn’t enough and someone needs help, their needs are more important than the game.
9. “I know it sounds funny but it will help us play amazing games together…”
It does sound funny to most people so I prefer to acknowledge what most people are thinking than let it go unsaid. Saying it out loud takes away its stigma and says “I understand” + “but trust me”.
10. “…and usually I’m the one who uses the X card to help take care of myself.”
It’s not just about them, it’s also about me. We’re in this together. And it can take the edge off a potential serious topic. I will usually X-Card myself early on in the game. Say I describe a gory fight, I might say out loud, “whoa John, relax there” and lift the X-Card on myself to show everyone it’s no big deal to use.